A Million Varieties
by an-alternate-world
Summary: It hasn't even been five minutes but already Blaine has been alternating between breaking up with Sebastian and breaking off his balls.


**Title: **A Million Varieties  
**Author: **an-alternate-world**  
Rating:** M+  
**Characters/Pairing: **Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe**  
Word Count: **2,492**  
Summary: **It hasn't even been five minutes but already Blaine has been alternating between breaking up with Sebastian and breaking off his balls.**  
Warnings/Spoilers: **None. (Although sex.)**  
Disclaimer:** I am in no way associated with _Glee_, FOX, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the FOX universe.

* * *

_Based on this prompt from OTPprompts on Tumblr: Imagine your OTP buying condoms together for the first time. Person B wants to look at all the variety packs but Person A just wants to make their purchase and leave. Who gets their way, and what happens when they actually get around to using them?_

* * *

It hasn't even been five minutes but already Blaine has been alternating between breaking up with Sebastian and breaking off his balls.

"Ooooh, they have _flavoured _ones!"

He's already desperately tried to make Sebastian stop squawking out all the different types of condoms and just choose _one_, but he's so flushed with embarrassment that he's convinced he might just burn a hole through the ground of Walgreens because he feels so hot. The worst part is that he's pretty sure Sebastian _knows_ what this whole ordeal is doing to him and the jerk is loving every minute that he can torture him a bit longer.

"What do you think 'ribbed' ones feel like? I mean, does it increase my pleasure while wearing it or yours when I fuck you?"

Blaine gapes at Sebastian's gleeful face, at the way he just so casually throws in a curse word, at the way his boyfriend is clearly loving every minute of this horrific debacle. In fact, he loves it so much that Sebastian is bouncing on the balls of his feet. Usually it's Blaine with too much energy that he can't contain, his toes wriggling in his shoes with the urge to _move_, but this time Sebastian is completely out of control and delighting in his mortification.

"Would you shut up and just _choose_?" Blaine squeaks, rubbing a hand across his cheeks in a futile attempt in pushing the blood away, maybe even sending it to somewhere in his chest which is concealed by his shirt.

Sebastian's green eyes crinkle further and Blaine just knows that this isn't over, regardless of how desperate he is. He watches Sebastian's finger jab at another box. "We could go with the glow-in-the-dark ones, in case you get all shy about having the lights on and you don't want to lose the condom or my dick in the dark."

Blaine's starting to think he may just abstain from sex for the rest of his life if this is what he's going to be faced with every time they need a new supply of condoms. It doesn't matter how horny his twenty-year-old body is, how certain he is that he wants to do this, how someone like Sebastian, for all his blatant flirtation and odd idiosyncrasies, has wormed his way far enough into Blaine's heart that he's ready for this with _this_ idiot of a boy. He's not sure why this level of mortification is necessary. Sebastian has told him numerous times that he has plenty of experience so he obviously knows about condoms. It's not even Blaine's first time either, but something about buying condoms, _together_, makes their whole relationship, their whole realisation that they're ready, _real_.

He probably should have expected Sebastian to tease the crap out of him.

He watches Sebastian's lips press together as he struggles to contain his mirth. He's enjoying this far too much for Blaine's liking and he sort of wants to stamp his foot and smack the grin away. "Do you think that would be weird though? Everything else is dark but there's a glowing dick in the room?"

"Oh my _God_," he groans, covering his face with one hand and playfully punching Sebastian in the arm with the other. His boyfriend cackles in the middle of the aisle, loud enough that anyone in Walgreens can probably hear it. When he glances up to tell Sebastian to shush, he sees an older woman walking towards them and it cranks his desperation up a notch because he really, really, _really_ doesn't need someone with a girl toddling behind her to overhear any of this.

"Do you think the chick at the checkout will think we're total sex bunnies if I buy one box of each?" Sebastian asks and that's the point that Blaine can't handle it anymore and hurries away, his cheeks flaming as bright as a beacon.

He can hear Sebastian laughing behind him, is fairly sure the laughter follows him outside, but he doesn't stop until he's left Walgreen and inhaling tainted New York air in an attempt to calm his face and raging hormones down. A couple of people walk past him with concerned faces and he wonders if he looks like he's having some sort of asthma attack and they think he's going to die. The absence of Sebastian's words is about the only thing that gradually eases his glowing face.

A hand slides into his, familiar and warm, long fingers tangling around his own. He bumps his elbow into Sebastian's side as they start walking down the street, a mild reprimand for the horror he's been forced to endure.

"We should do that again sometime," Sebastian muses, staring across the heads of a crowd of people as if they haven't just done something so monumental. Blaine notices a plastic bag swinging gently in Sebastian's other hand and already he can feel a flush creeping into his face again at the thought of what that bag contains.

"You're the _worst_," he mutters, pressing his nose into Sebastian's bicep. His boyfriend hears him and chuckles, pressing a soft kiss to his temple as they wait at a red light to cross the road.

"You won't be saying _that_ when I finally use them," Sebastian promises, and Blaine starts to think he could just replace the red light with his cheeks and no one would be any wiser.

* * *

Even though it's not his first time, it's been a while since he was this exposed to someone else. His heart skips beats in his chest as he allows Sebastian's fingers to skitter over his skin, examining faded scars and dipping into the lines of muscle. He can feel his stomach clenching with nerves at each touch, arches into Sebastian's kisses when his hands smooth over sensitive strips of his waist. Despite the reverence in Sebastian's hands, he can't help feeling slightly embarrassed by his body. He knows Sebastian's had far more experience and he worries that he's inadequate, that he doesn't measure up to the 'faceless fucks' in Sebastian's past.

Yet Sebastian kisses him with an eloquence he's never experienced before, something that draws out his nerves and fills him with warmth and a flurry of excited nerves. He slowly starts to feel as though his body isn't being compared to previous partners. He knows he's not incapable of bringing Sebastian pleasure, because they've made out plenty of times when kisses got too heated. They've exchanged handjobs and blowjobs, so he knows the right way to flick his tongue and make Sebastian moan just like Sebastian knows that thumbing over his hipbones makes him quiver.

When slick fingers glide past his hole, he tenses for a moment or two. It's been so _long_ and he almost doubts how willing he is to give a piece of himself to someone again. Last time he allowed this in a relationship, he nearly lost his mind in the breakup.

But when he meets Sebastian's eyes, sees the patient expression on his face, he knows he could say he isn't ready and they'd kiss and touch and he wouldn't be resented for asking for more time. It's that thought, the one that trusts Sebastian completely, that allows him to exhale and relax. He's surrendered to his body being pleasured before and Sebastian has talents he's never experienced. He nods and Sebastian kisses him, distracting him somewhat from the pain of being stretched. It's been a while, a few years now, but it gradually fades until he's left scratching his nails into freckled skin, writhing against each probing curl of confident fingers, gasping breaths as Sebastian sucks a mark into his collarbone at the same time.

"_Bas_," he whimpers, partly out of need and partly out of relief when he sees Sebastian finally, _finally_, reach for the bedside table and rummage around in a box. The fingers slide free as the foil is ripped and he watches Sebastian's hands curiously because the condom doesn't _look_ like it's anything particularly fancy. Perhaps he almost feels disappointed, like he'd endured all that teasing only for it to be a regular piece of latex.

Sebastian raises an eyebrow when their eyes meet, his hands raising Blaine's hips to offer him a better position as he presses close. Everything feels heated and flushed as he lays so open, so vulnerable, to his boyfriend. If a cutting comment were to pour forth now, he'd probably shatter.

"Something wrong?" Sebastian prompts when it becomes clear he isn't entirely willing to speak what's on his mind.

"No, just…" He bites his lower lip, knowing his cheeks are traitorously pinking again. "Well, it doesn't _glow_ or anything."

Sebastian laughs, his thumb brushing over Blaine's hipbone. A shaky sigh passes his lips at about the same time as Sebastian deliberately rubs his length against his stretched hole. "You seem upset."

"I'll be more upset if you start teasing me again," he says with a faint scowl and a small pout.

Sebastian grins, the corners of his eyes crinkling like they do when he's truly happy, truly amused. It's such a beautiful smile that it draws his focus from Sebastian's movements for the fraction of a second that it takes for his boyfriend to push inside. Blaine's eyes squeeze shut, a quiet groan getting stuck in his throat, as Sebastian rocks his hips gently in until he's bottomed out.

It takes several minutes of adjusting, of exhaling slowly and steadily until his muscles relax, before he opens his eyes. Sebastian looks down at him with something unreadable but clearly happy, long fingers curving over his jaw. His heart flutters in his chest and he smiles shyly.

"You look gorgeous," Sebastian whispers, sounding slightly awed as he leans forward to kiss Blaine's forehead. He lowers his eyes in embarrassment, circling Sebastian's neck with his arms and trying to wrap his legs around his boyfriend's waist. It makes their bodies hopelessly entangled, but he has such a strong need to keep Sebastian close.

The pace is slow for a while as they each get used to everything, exchanging lazy kisses whenever their mouths align. Blaine's fingers snag in Sebastian's hair and occasionally he uses the grip to manoeuver Sebastian's mouth against his neck. He realises that the bliss he feels is because he's never felt closer, more intimately connected, to someone than he does to Sebastian right now. He loves the feeling of Sebastian's teeth nipping over a mark on his neck and the safety he feels when Sebastian's hands spread over skin is incomparable to anything in the past. He hasn't come yet, isn't even close, but already he feels better than ever before.

But curiosity continues to gnaw at him. He scratches at Sebastian's scalp or the back of his neck every time his boyfriend pushes his hips in rougher and his body shudders with pleasurable thrills.

"So _are_ the condoms something special?" he finally demands when he can't stand wondering anymore and it appears that Sebastian's not going to be forthcoming with the information. If anything his boyfriend seems be waiting for something. Maybe to be asked.

Sebastian hums and lowers his head slightly. It causes thin, sweaty strands of hair to fall into his hazy eyes. "Extra thin," Sebastian admits, and it's then that Blaine notices the red of his lips, the half-closed eyes, the crinkled brow as his boyfriend concentrates on something. "You have no _idea_ how good this feels."

"It'd feel better for me if you moved more," he points out, although he knows he feels pretty incredible now. Perhaps that's why he feels so much closer to Sebastian, because he can feel each rippled vein clearer.

"_Bossy_," Sebastian teases, offering a messy kiss that makes his stomach flip-flop. The pace picks up, faster and faster, until every thrust punches the air from Blaine's lungs and every retreat of Sebastian's hips makes him ache. He grips at Sebastian's hair tightly enough to pull it out, gasping fragments of his boyfriend's name when a fist grips his length and he starts to shatter apart with a harsh cry.

Sebastian is only a handful of thrusts behind, his face pressed into Blaine's sweaty neck as his hips shudder, as his shoulders quake, as his mouth closes absently against his skin to taste or mark some more. Blaine feels overheated and sticky, yet sated and content. He doesn't think he's ever felt as peaceful as he does when his thudding heart beats a tattoo against his ribcage in a matching rhythm to Sebastian's. He tries grabbing Sebastian back weakly when his boyfriend pulls away, although he's grateful that Sebastian cleans them both up before he starts feeling too uncomfortable with the mess of body fluids. His heart flutters in his chest when Sebastian covers his body with kisses and touches, soaking him in warmth and happiness that he hopes never fades.

"They were a good choice," Sebastian concedes, folding him into strong arms until he becomes the little spoon. It's a position that has parts of him tingling because he can feel Sebastian's warm breath ghosting over his shoulder. His ass, vaguely sore, is pressed comfortably into Sebastian's hips and a naked crotch.

"Yeah?" he murmurs, his eyes closing as he relishes the protection of Sebastian's arms and the comfort of wandering fingers.

"Yeah," Sebastian echoes, his lips lingering against the knob of his spine as the fingers skate along the curve of his waist. "I wonder if the neighbours will complain when I use the studded ones and hammer your prostate until you're coming so hard that you scream?"

Something flips over in Blaine's stomach, the promise of pleasure he's never felt, isn't sure he can handle, but wants to experience. He knows his cheeks are warm again. "_Please_ tell me you didn't buy every type of condom in Walgreens."

Sebastian's fingers skim along the bump of his hip, his teeth grazing at the back of his shoulder. He's fairly sure these feather light touches are going to have him hard again, achingly ready to feel Sebastian press inside him again and again.

"You should have seen the look on the chick's face," Sebastian mumbles, although Blaine can still hear the amusement filtering into his tone. "She probably thought I was going to have an orgy or something and I was going to be like Oprah and toss condoms to everyone. _You_ get a condom, and _you_ get a condom. You know what, you _all_ get condoms."

"Oh my _God._ I _hate_ you," Blaine groans, burning embarrassment replacing warm, post-coital bliss. He hides his face in his pillow. Behind him, Sebastian laughs so hard he snorts.

Jerk.

* * *

**_~FIN~_**


End file.
